Sex & Spandex: The Quest for the Kai
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The Quest for the Kai. A Comic Parody of Cosmic Proportions.
Monty Python continues to bitch-slap Marvel in the ultimate mash-up.
The Shiny Surfer, assisted/hampered by Mrs' Galactus & Darkseid, Mr Bishop and Baron Zemo, is trying to find the mysterious Kai, the possible source of Cosmic disturbance.
Join the bickering Questers on their epic Galactic journey to annoy other life-forms, molest domestic animals, destroy sacred beliefs and generally sow confusion and discord.
Will our brave Quester's ever find the Kai? Who is the super villain with the constantly inflamed gonads? Will Mrs’ G & D get back in time for tea? And why is Tessticulatus so annoyed?
All of these questions, and many others, will be either answered or completely ignored, side-stepped, trampled underfoot and generally mishandled
in this, the second mildly titillating and reasonably exciting instalment of Sex & Spandex 2: The Quest for the Kai.
Also contains deleted scenes from Sex & Spandex 1.
you ever gonna learn! You’re a born loser and you'll stay a born loser coz ya don't think it through! Look at you! You're short, over-weight, outta breath with a stupid mask glued to yer face! And your wearing Cavalry boots, Lederhosen and a fur collar! What in the world made you wear leather shorts?? Baron Zemo: I didn't know ve vould end up valking through a ficken desert! Besides, I wanted to represent my culture to der Universe! Bishop: Culture? If I was you I'd keep quiet about those
which just missed us? Baron Zemo: Ja, what about it? Bishop: Look what it hit! The Baron turns slowly with mounting dread to see. The bullet has passed clean through the water pouch and it lies on the ground; empty & completely drained of water. Baron Zemo: Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Running towards the pouch, squeezing the last few drops into his mouth and then scrambling in the dirt sucking the wet, but fast drying, sand. He chokes on the sand and is forced to spit it out. Baron
Filthy takers! Barman: We don't like takers around here! The other people in the bar start to gather around the group in a tense and ugly mood. Baron Zemo: But, but ve saw you shoot yourself! Tessticulatus: I was resting. And when I woke up all my stuff was gone. Give it back now you takers! Baron Zemo: But you vent kaputt! Tessticulatus: I don't think your recording device works very well, I couldn't hear a thing for all that loud bang noise! Bishop: But you died! We saw you
broke. Apparently 'someone' gave away his whole merchandise. I thought you may have felt some responsibility for his plight! Bishop: Yeah, I'll be sure to sponsor him through moron school. But why a guide? Why can't you just fly us to the Maji on your board? Silver Surfer: My board is no longer available. Uhm, we've become estranged. He's been a little moody since we got trapped in D-space. Bishop: You've fallen out with your board? How in the name of Great Thundering Chudd-droppers
(Pause with great cosmic self-restraint) What is the Kai? Pedantica: It's this thing. Silver Surfer: Thing? Pedantica: Yes, this thing! Silver Surfer: So, let me get this right, The Destroyer..just a minute, is that his real name? Pedantica: Uhm.....well....strictly speaking.....ehm....no. (Pause) One may have made that up! Silver Surfer: So, someone... Pedantica: or something... Silver Surfer: or something is looking... Pedantica: seeking... Silver Surfer: seeking