The New York City Cab Driver's Joke Book
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Heard any good jokes lately? Jim Pietsch, a real New York City cabbie, has heard them all -- from business-people, unemployed laborers, Wall Street lawyers, prostitutes, writers, tourists, drug dealers and lovers...all from the back seat of his cab as he makes his way around New York City. In this follow-up to the widely successful New York City Cab Driver's Joke Book, Jim Pietsch has put together another riotously funny collection of more than 400 jokes that is sure to have everyone laughing.
friend to dinner. The friend is very impressed. After dinner the friend says to Louie, ''All right, I admit that probably everyone in this country knows you. But what about Europe? I bet Bjorn Borg doesn't know you ." The next day the two men fly to Sweden. At the airport they happen to run into Bjorn Borg, who is on his way to Monaco. "Louie!" says Bjorn, ''I' m sorry, but I'm just leaving Sweden. Say, why don't you and your friend come to Monaco for a week as my personal guests?" At the end of
hits the ground, l let go of the specially trained English bulldog and he will run up and bite the gorilla's balls off. This will stun the gorilla, and while he is in this state of shock. we run up with the large piece of rope, tie up the gorilla, and load him into the back of your truck." "Okay. You got it," says the exterminator. "Let's go." He is just about to start to move toward the tree when the man says, "Wait a minute! What's the shotgun for?" 151 "Oh, yeah," says the exterminator, "I
"N.Y.U. ?" The first man says, ·'And why not?'' * • • A Polish man wants lunch, so he goes down the street to a place he knows of, walks up to the counter, and says, "I want a burger, some fries, and a chocolate shake." The man behind the counter says, "You must be Polish." The guy says, "Oh, I can't believe it! Everyone always knows," and he stonns out of the place. He vows that he is going to learn to rusguise his Polishness if it' s the last thing he ever does. He goes to a school to lose
crowded with people rushing to get to their shows. The bum sees a well-dressed man walking along and goes up to him and asks, "Sir, can I borrow a quarter?" The man stops and says in a very dignified tone, "'Neither a borrower nor a lender be!'-William Shakespeare." The bum looks back at him and says, "'Up your asshole, you cocksucker!'- David Mamet." * Q: What do a woman A: * * in tight jeans and Brooklyn have in common? Flatbush. * * 183 * A couple is driving in the country. They
to measure me or anything?" "Nab," says the tailor. "I can just look at you and tell what size you are.'' "But that's impossible," says the man. "You wear a size forty-two jacket, right?" "Wow! That's right!" "And you have a thirty-two-inch inseam, right?" 185 "Wow! That's amazing!" "And you have a thirty-six-inch waist, right?" "Yes," says the guy. ''And you wear size forty underwear, right?'' "Now there you're wrong," the guy says to the tailor. "I wear size thirty-four underwear." "No,"