Tim and Eric's Zone Theory: 7 Easy Steps to Achieve a Perfect Life

Tim and Eric's Zone Theory: 7 Easy Steps to Achieve a Perfect Life

Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim

Language: English

Pages: 336

ISBN: 1455545430

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


From Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, two of the 21st century's most vital and creative minds, comes a brand new, inspirational, and game-changing life system that promises to instantly provide wellness, happiness, and total, absolute fulfillment.

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waste. Your skin crumbles and chaps easily and the people that know you are right to call you behind your back “blotchy boy.” You bleed easily as demonstrated when, as a child, your classmates routinely cut your arms with their penknives. Oh! How you’d bleed like a little bitch. Incredibly, there has never once been a dog or cat who’s come up to lick you or nuzzle up against you. In fact, all animals are repelled and repulsed by you. You are trash. 16 TimAndEricsZon_HCtextF1.indd 16 5/7/15 2:13

installing and maintaining security cameras on the grounds of Nude Recreation Centers across the United States. Pardural also writes poetry and recently won the Amateur Poet Contest Award sponsored by the military. It is an honor to print some of his recent poems here. 194 TimAndEricsZon_HCtextF1.indd 194 5/7/15 2:16 PM MYSTERY I wonder what they would think If they knew TOLERANCE It takes all kinds To make a world. All walks of life Naked and flickering On my screen. SERVANT With my

the race?!!!” TIM: Well we raced—just the two of us—and Eric beat my pants off. It was just one of those moments where you can see the paradigm shift happening in real time: how did the unserviced cigarette boat beat the newly serviced one? It’s a question that, later over eggs and wine, we couldn’t get over—was this a sign? Could we rethink our own way of doing things to the point where we are truly achieving our goals and having fun at the same time? ERIC: I think we stared at each other

awaits you at the gate before Zone Plane 8! AGAINST THE WALL AND ARE NOW PISSING ON THE BOOK.] AND MAKING A SCENE—YOU’VE THROWN THIS BOOK [YOU ARE FLIPPING OUT, ROLLING AROUND ON THE GROUND 43 TimAndEricsZon_HCtextF1.indd 43 5/7/15 2:13 PM ZONE 1 FRIENDSHIP INT. CHUM’S NUDE RECREATION CENTER (a heavy, nude man) waits outside the locker room. (a very short, nude man) approaches. JOE TED TED: Are you Joe? JOE: TED: JOE: Yes. Ted? You got it. Great to finally meet you! TED: You

Horseplay is now ranked as the number one friendship activity amongst Zone Plane 8s! So why aren’t you engaging in Adult Horseplay? Adult Horseplay works so well because it is so easy! Anyone can do it! All you have to do is engage in clowning around, shoving, light wrestling, tussling and other roughhousing. What’s amazing about Adult Horseplay is that you are in control! There are no rules. But WHERE can two new friends engage in Adult Horseplay? As anyone knows, nude recreation centers have

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